How to Survive a Desk Job

If you're like me, you spend the majority of your days sitting at a desk, staring at a computer.  As we all know there have been studies which say that sitting all day increases your risk of dying from 10-200%.  Now, I have not read all of the reports, but so far none have them have considered one symptom that is rampant across worldly office spaces: boredom.  At some level or another your desk job is just performing repetitive actions.  There is not always a project, always a meeting, always a creative outlet for your work ideas.  When this happens you sit, sit and type, or sit and click.

While I'm sure you could change your diet or buy a $1500 machine that would combat some of the physical health risks, I am here to help you "survive" the risks that come with that mental void that seems to grow when there is either no or not interesting work to do.

1. Drink water....... a lot

It is a fact of nature that if you ingest things your body needs to either utilize or expel them....or die.  Since we are trying to survive however, we are going to take advantage of the digestive system and overflow it with water!  I grew up being told that I should drink 8 glasses a day.  At least that's what school said, my dad said I should support the company and drink Coke products, but this was back when Google didn't exist so I can't blame him for not realizing the effect that might be currently having on my blood pressure.

Anyway, not here to play the blame game.  If you have a water fountain or a water cooler in your office, make liberal use of it.  Doing so will make you get up to refill your cup or bottle and then drinking large amounts of water will ensure that you have to get up to rid your body of the water it does not need.  I feel like I heard somewhere that drinking too much water can be bad, but as long as you avoid breathing while drinking I am going to say you should be fine.

So we've got a way to cut out some of that straight sit-time, a change of environment is good for the boredom.  This movement is especially effective if you only have 1 toilet for a whole office since you will have to dance to pass the time while you wait for the person in front of you to finish.  Burn those calories!


2. Listen to music

You can type in time to the music.  Perhaps you are working in a spreadsheet entering number after number from a stack of papers.  Not very fun, but turn on the Game of Thrones theme, position your input box and you've got a rocking rhythm of 9.............6............269..........0..........97enter!  Go on, rock out!  It might seem like you aren't typing as fast as you would otherwise, but if you make yourself keep pace it is better than entering one number then taking 15 seconds to move the sheet to another pile and refocus your eyes on the next one.  If you want a challenge try doing it to a Metallica guitar solo or something.

3. Learn to dance with your feet

Unlike construction workers, the movement of your fingers on your keyboard does not burn the calories quite like moving heaven and earth shovel by shovel.  To compensate for this, we are going to wrap my first two steps (Moving and Music) into a third.

While you are tapping out the tune to your favorite song on the keys, be sure to bring your feet into the action.  This relatively low-volume (unless you sit on a metal floor of some kind) exercise is much less conspicuous than getting up in your cubicle and doing jumping jacks.  Save face and burn up to 500 calories a day fidgeting at your desk.  You might switch to some techno for a post-lunch power fidget to get that digestive system going and bring it down to a nice waltz fidget to wind down from your day before leaving the office.


4. Listen to audiobooks/podcasts/lectures

Words distract me.  But sometimes work activities are fairly mundane and can be done with less than 100% brain capacity.  This is the sort of task that increases the risk of boredom to over 9000!  It is also the sort of task that is most conducive to doing something else while you are doing it.  I would not be so brash as to put a movie in the corner of your screen (unless you are in a particularly well situated cubicle), but advances in technology have given us a way to make these tasks more... productive.

Need to catch up on reading?  This is a perfect time to get into an audiobook. Whether you buy them (through amazon, audible, or some other service) or check them out from your local library (which is an under utilized resource I may do a separate post on) this is the best way to pad your Goodreads account and wow your friends with how much reading you do.  Whether you listen to historical biographies, political ... stuff, or your favorite fantasy/sci-fi novel, this is something I personally take full advantage of.

Another form of ear stimuli is podcasts (are podcasts?).  If you have a Zune, like myself, you can look for these on the Zune Marketplace and almost all of them are free!  I think iTunes might also have these, but I tend to avoid Apple products.  This can be a great way to keep up on current events, learn a foreign language, or just get a laugh.  If you're like me and I had to suggest two to get you started I would go with Stuff You Should Know and Hypothetical Help.  A lot of radio shows also release their episodes as podcasts such as NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.

When I am forced to use iTunes, my favorite feature is their iTunes U.  This service has several classes listed and you can download lectures (both video and audio) and learn that foreign language or take that ancient history class you have always wanted.  I am all for the movement to open education and as more Universities get on board with this I think this will be a legitimate way to round our your resume (albeit in a non-official capacity).


5.Catch up on video games

Now this one may not seem too intuitive and there are definitely some caveats to this, but I have recently descended into a lower circle of Nerd-damnation and started watching what are called "Let's Play" videos.  For those reading that would actually enjoy this, I am guessing you already know what "Let's Play" videos are, but it's my #5 thing so I have to fill some space.

If you go to YouTube and search for Let's Play, you will get thousands of results.  These are essentially videos of people playing video games and commenting on them as they do.

"What fun is that?" you might ask.

My answer: nostalgia.  If you are at home or in a place where you can visually watch until your heart's content, this can actually be a good way to experience games that you might not have A. time for. 2. a computer good enough to play. or C. desire to buy without seeing what it is like first.  In the office, however, this is not what we are trying to get out of this.  For the at-work Let's Player, as I said, we are going for nostalgia.

"How can we experience a video game we can't see?  After all 'video' is Latin for 'I see'!"

Well you are full of good questions and know some basic Latin vocabulary!...ok I'll tell you.  If you're like me, you have restarted video games over and over again.  Whether it is deleting your Madden Franchise when you win the Super Bowl once or forgetting where you are in an RPG story and starting it all over again, you become familiar with games you end up playing through them 10 times.  I'm not sure Madden would work for this, but for a game like Final Fantasy VII, I could probably talk you through the first 10 hours of that game without visual aids.

We are going to channel that last claim into an audio walkthrough of a game you know inside and out.  When you find yourself a good commentator (I like HCBailly) it's like having inside jokes with someone all day.  You totally thought Cid was a little over-excited to have tea served in Rocket Town and "Wow, the main character is named after a weather phenomenon.  Let's hope that doesn't become a pattern..." 

I am over halfway through the FFVII playthrough and as the game goes on I'm finding myself having to peek a bit more, but the whole experience still brings me back to the innocent days of my youth.  So if you have games you know better than you know the presidents just search Let's Play ____ and get some gaming in at work!

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There are probably many more ways to combat the monotony your desk job may entail, and I'd love to hear of more ways to pass the day.  If you've got a suggestion please post in the comments below!